- Hi, friends. Thanks for hanging out with me for another episode of The Cerebrations Podcast.

- In episode 17, I would like to highlight a topic that many of us, especially on the sales and marketing side, think that we are very good at, how to leave a lasting impression. After all, that's what we've been doing our entire professional lives, no? Building relationships and making the right impressions to close the deal.

- Yet many of us do great in building up the impression, but often fall short on the other end, meaning that sometimes our initial good impression may fall flat as the conversation goes and the other party learns more about us.

- So today, I've invited a guest to speak about the challenge. How do we make sure the last impression we've left is great, and how do we turn this into a lasting impression?

- My guest's name is Andrea Beach. She's the founder and CEO of both Axess Network and BeachFront Custom Development. As a leading authority on technology and consumer behavior, she has advised Fortune 500 companies, mentored a variety of startups, and created engaging activations for some of the world's largest brands. I look forward to a very engaging and insightful conversation today.

- Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to invite Andrea Beach to the virtual stage.

- Hi, Andrea. How are you?

- I'm great, thank you. How are you?

- I'm doing great, too. I really appreciate your joining this podcast episode. I'm very excited to talk to you about today's topic. As always, I want to remind everyone that's especially dialing into watch this episode on video that there is a little call to action at the bottom. I just turned it on now. Everyone who wants to learn a little bit more about you can go to cerebrations.info, that's the website for this podcast. They can also find other interviews there with previous podcast guests and always keep up to date with the latest that I have on this podcast. So just wanted to clear this out before we get started. So today's topic is about the impressions that we leave with each other, especially in business settings. I know that's a topic that you suggested when we were discussing potential topics for the episode. And you're a successful serial entrepreneur having had the chance to work with some great and perhaps some not so great business partners in the past. So through those experiences, you've learned to value the impressions a person leaves with potential or current business associates. So I assume this topic is very dear to your heart. It's actually very interesting to me, too. So before we dive into this into more detail, just to kind of warm up for the conversation, from your years as a successful entrepreneur, I would like to ask you to share with us, from your personal professional experience, how have people's impressions impacted your business dealings?

- Well, this is a secret weapon for businesses if they understand this and get this right. I mean, it works in social settings as well, but especially for businesses, this could make all the difference in a small business competing against very large players in their industry. So from my background, when I was first starting out and didn't have the success and had to deal with vendors or clients or, you know, other strategic partners that maybe weren't as great, and eventually, over time, educating myself about these different tips and strategies, and then being able to watch and observe, we've all had the experience of working with less than par companies that maybe they, they've made us feel like a number. Maybe they made us feel like we were an inconvenience to service us. And then we've all had that wonderful experience where the attention to detail was there, the eye contact, the warm, authentic smile from a customer service rep, those are the moments that we remember and we feel like, wow, they really went out of their way. They did a great job, and we will tell other people about that. And even if we don't remember consciously why we loved working with a particular company or business or didn't, subconsciously, we'll remember, and the ripple effects from that continue to last. So that's why I think this conversation is so important.

- Yeah, absolutely. I can attest to that, not only from partnership conversations, but even in terms of vendors who are trying to sell me things. There are some vendors that I remember from years ago, I was very impressed by them. What they were selling me was not something I needed or not something that I was ready to spend money on, but I still remember them.

- Did you bought it?

- No, I didn't. Well, maybe there are a few occasions where I may have actually even bought into that, but most of the times, I remember them. So in different setting, when the right time comes, I would know where to go because it's still very fresh in my mind what they were offering. And some of them have even moved jobs and are now selling other things, and I still take their calls because I remember them.

- People do business with those they like and trust.

- Yeah, exactly, exactly. So let's delve into one of the pitfalls, I think, that entraps many people when they think about business relationships. Why does everyone focus on the first impression?

- Well, first impressions matter. First impressions are actually really important. In fact, human behavior tells us that 36 seconds into an encounter with somebody for the first time, we've already done a dossier in our mind of what we believe to be facts about them. We believe within the first 36 seconds that we know how smart they are, how well-educated, what a good communicator they are, if we think they're handsome or beautiful, there's all kinds of things that we have formed in our minds. And actually, that first impression is pretty sticky. So for the next, you know, however long minutes, hours that encounter goes, that person is now validating what they initially set up as their belief framework. And it takes quite a bit to shake it, to change that initial first impression. But when you focus on that last impression and actually don't ignore it, which is more often the case, it can change everything. 'Cause we've all had those first impressions be false or be wrong. And then later, when they changed, we probably told someone about it because the impact of, man, I thought this was the way it was, and then come to find out it was something else is actually so jarring and impactful to us, we share that with others so it's really important.

- Interesting. So if I understand correctly what you're saying, sometimes, actually the change of the first impression to what you perceive in the beginning of meeting someone to the last impression, that change may actually be the one that really makes a difference, right? Because you are gonna remember this even more because it actually really surprised you. So I assume we're talking here mostly about positive changes, not so much about the negative change of like first impressions.

- We remember both.

- We remember both,

- And we'll share both, gladly.

- Yeah. So it's a segue to my next question, and that's what the topic is, why may the last impression turn out to be the most important one? Why wouldn't people still stick with their first impression? Even if they're getting more data about the other person on the other end, they may still be like, okay, well, I still like this person. I like them in the beginning, maybe I'll continue liking them. I see the signals, the red flags, but I'm still gonna persevere. What do you think happens in people's minds later on?

- Well, we try to differentiate between business and personal life, but in reality, we're all humans and we're all dealing with human interactions. So it's really the same set of principles and rules that apply. And if you have initially set up a framework for how you view that other person or that business or institution, like I said, it's gonna be very difficult to change your initial impression, so you're working almost against an uphill battle to do so. But the last impression turns out to be the most important one because that is the taste you're leaving in people's mouth when they leave. And it actually sets up what that call to action or what that next step in the relationship might be. And especially in business, if you started with a good first impression, but then over that meeting, for example, if they had a beautiful office, everyone was well dressed, they were super sharp when they presented their stuff, they had fancy high-end coffee and snacks, but they fell flat in the meeting, they didn't actually address your concerns, they don't really understand what you need from them and you leave that meeting feeling like, well, that was a dud. You know, in the beginning you were pretty excited, you thought these people have it all together. But conversely, if you walked into a very normal office where people were normal, the coffee was normal, but they somehow surprised you at the end, that last, say, 20% of that meeting was really a good experience. Maybe they did their research and they put together a little model for you, or a replica, or maybe they put together an initial jingle or piece of music depending on what your business is, of course. Or you know, in my world, maybe they'd put together an initial game or mobile app or something, just a first impression, you would leave blown away, even though when you first walked in, there wasn't really anything very impressive, so that last impression is the most important because it actually is what carries them through to whether they're gonna do business with you going forward or not.

- Yeah. Even thinking about just job interviews that I've gone to, right? Like you go to an office and it may be very impressive and it looks like a very fancy environment, but the people are fake. It's just not, you can tell very quickly that they don't care about what you're gonna say there. And then there's another time when it may be a very shabby startup environment, but the people are passionate about what they're doing and they really wanna meet you and work with you, so that's what matters. But let me ask you, when do we know it's the last impression? I mean, last impression, it goes on, right? If it's successful relationship, we keep having a partnership going on over years, so there's constant change. So there's always a new last, you know, impression. So how do we decide this is the impression that I am gonna base my, or do we just calibrate based on that? How do you perceive that in your--

- That's a great question is how do you know when it's actually the last impression? And I think maybe a better rule or framework for this is leave every encounter better than it started. So whether it's an email exchange or a Zoom, or if you're meeting in person, make sure that that last five minutes, even if it's the 57th time you've met with this client or vendor or what have you, make sure the very tail end, you save a little something for them. You say, oh, and by the way, before we go here, Joe, you told me your wife really likes this. My wife had this and I just brought, he will beam when he leaves. And it almost elevates and amplifies everything you just talked about for the last hour. It doesn't matter if you've been working together for a year. So I would say strive for every encounter to make that last impression the best part of your meeting.

- That's a very interesting point. And I can see how it works very well. Thanks for sharing that. I guess I'll ask you though, I mean, sometimes I can try to plan something like that, but also, I know we live in a imperfect world and everything can happen, so we may get interrupted. So I may be planning for a 30 minute conversation and have my punchline at the 25th minute mark, right? And at the same time, something happens and we have to cut it short, and I missed that opportunity. So as a person, as I'm preparing and I try to follow your advice to always have something for the last impression, you know, the reserve the best for the end, how do I ensure that I'm not gonna get cut short and not given the chance to do that?

- Yeah, good question. It doesn't have to be a punchline or a gift or, you know, some fancy joke you were setting up to tell. Let's assume that you have a 30 minute meeting, in the 25th minute, you had something planned. But 12 minutes into your Zoom meeting, you have something that comes up. You get a text or an emergency and you have to cut it short. So not only are you not able to get to that punchline or that thing you had saved, but now you kind of feel like you've got a save face a little bit. If you just simply look into the camera, I assume it's a Zoom, of course in person, but if you look into the camera and you're very authentic in your apology, and if you explain, you know, hey, Sean, I am so deeply sorry. You deserve all the best time in the world and I really wanted to give it to you. In fact, I had a few things I was really excited to tell you about. I've gotta attend to this other matter. Would it be okay? I mean, do you understand or are we gonna be ending on an awkward note here? And he'll rush to say, no, no, no, Emil, it's fine. We're good. Because you were so authentic and so heartfelt in the way you had to abruptly end it, you, therefore just left the great last impression. It might not have been the punchline to the joke you were gonna tell, but you left a good impression at the end, even if it was abrupt. And that's what still matters, is the impression.

- Right. Okay. Got it. Got it. So basically, in a way, this is still a way for you to leave the right last impression. You're just basically saying, I really wanted to talk more about you and go into more detail, and I have more depth that I wanted to add, but life isn't perfect and we have to cut it short this time, let's do it for the next time.

- And being vulnerable with them makes all the difference. If you say, I'm a little embarrassed. I actually feel like I have a little egg on my face here and I don't really know what to say because now I feel like I've messed everything up for your whole day. Do you forgive me? And they may go, oh my gosh, no, it's fine. Because they're not used to that. And that leaves an amazing first impression, as well as a last impression because they liked you in the beginning and now they saw your vulnerability and they know you're a real and authentic person at the end. It's like bookends.

- Right. And actually, even if they don't remember your name, they'll be like, oh, that's the person that did this, right? They talked to me about this.

- Absolutely.

- Yeah. Great. So, you know, we've talked a little bit about this from a hypothetical standpoint, but I always like to, you know, I like to add a little bit of real life or practical aspect to it, nuance to the conversation. So can you share with us an example or two of how your impressions of someone changed over time, just to kind of validate what we've talked about so far?

- Sure. So there was an agency that we used to do some work with. We were working with a lot of Fortune 50 companies doing all of their customer experience technology. And this agency was phenomenal at what I'll call the dog and pony show. So they had the greeters and the fancy fountains and the gourmet coffee and everybody was kind of on script as far as being very impressive. But we found that that's really all they were good at, was the circus. They really weren't good at delivering. And the backend and the lack of authenticity was glaring. So they would tell us everything we wanted to hear, but then on the backend, when they didn't deliver and it fell short, it actually created a bigger disconnect than if they hadn't even done that. So that fake, that kind of facade on the front end actually did them more damage. On the other hand, and you brought this up earlier, even when you're dealing with a small kind of startup, there was a particular company that we were looking to acquire, and they were a mobile app developer, and they were tiny. They were four people and then they outsourced, you know, some of their development as well. And we went in, and this was an industrial park, you know, they had basically the roll up door, you know, looked like a garage. Now, in technology, you can get away with some of that, but we still walked in like, what are we doing? But they had done their homework and they were so excited to show off basically like a little kindergartner running up to show you their painting. You know, they were so excited to show us what they'd come up with and their ideas and their thoughts. It was infectious. We left giggling and laughing and hugging and it was just the most raw, real, and in fact, they actually made a assumption that was wrong, I wanna go into it, and we called them out on it and they busted out laughing. There was no facade. They said, well, boy, we blew that. We totally messed that up. And we laughed along with them and said, that's okay, let's keep going. Because the entire interaction was very authentic. But when we left and everybody was talking and hugging and all that kind of stuff, we were looking in each other's eyes with this true, genuine connection and they ended up getting the business. We ended up bringing them in and we exploded that business. They took off like a rocket because they left us with that impression that they were real, they understood what we were doing, they were truly passionate about it, and they were gonna go the extra mile. And that's all that mattered, not where they were parked, not where their, you know, their IKEA furniture and their roll-up garage office, we didn't care about that.

- Yeah. Well, then, you know, so the natural question that's pops up is why do people ignore that last impression? Why do they actually assume that it's enough to build the initial facade and then forget about the substance? I mean, the first example you gave me, the agency, obviously, these are smart people. Obviously, they have the resources and they have the time, the need, the money. Why are they not doing this? Why are they just building? They know that they're gonna disappoint you at one point. If you're smart, you're gonna see through that. So why are they doing it?

- Well, I can't speak for that agency. I think they got a little big for their britches, but I think a lot of people, businesses and individuals alike, ignore that last impression because we're never taught how important it is. That's just the facts. We're actually taught make a great first impression. And that's absolutely true and valuable, that if you can't back it up on the backend, then it was all for naught. If you imagine, you know, a magician up on stage and they do a fabulous show, but then when the thing is supposed to pop out of the curtain or be there when it disappeared and it didn't work, it wouldn't matter all the lead up, all the setup if the very end wasn't there to deliver. So I think the reason why most people in companies don't pay that much attention to the last impression is, A, because they're not taught, we're certainly not taught that in our business schools. You know, sometimes we're taught that in PR and marketing and in our communications departments, but not in the business areas. And we're also exhausted. There's a really interesting scientific study that talked about you build up and build up, if you're hosting clients for a luncheon and you wanna make sure the napkins are perfect and everybody has their vegan whatever they need for their meal, but then they get emotionally, mentally exhausted about halfway through it because all the prep was done for that initial first impression, and then the end just kind of tapers off or peter's off, and people leave and they're yawning and they get up and make excuses they had to leave, but that office staff goes, good job, we did it, you know, because they had great napkins. That's not what it's about. So there is a element of exhaustion because you're so focused on the beginning. If they would shift that and balance it and think of it as bookends or make a good initial first impression, at least a good one, and make a great lasting impression, then you win.

- Yeah, I mean, as you were talking about this, I started picturing some examples I've had in the past where, you know, like this very senior person will come in on the other side and they'll make a great introduction in the beginning. They'll play their role very well. It's well rehearsed, very well scripted, but then the job is done, they feel like they're done with that, they hand it off to their juniors, whomever else is on the call or in the meeting. And then you see, and they start checking their mail on their phone, and they're completely detached. So what's the point? Like, you came to tell me I'm bringing the big guns and that's why I'm here, and then I see you're not even listening to what I'm saying. You just made that initial introduction. So I, you know, as you were talking about this, I was just thinking about how many examples of that I can remember, and it's crazy. But it is what it is. I guess we're just not taught to do that. So I think that's a great segue to the last question I have for you today, which is in all my episodes, I try to wrap up at the end with some key takeaways. So that's, you know, in my mind, I'm thinking, if someone watches or listens to this podcast episode now, what do you want them to remember in three to four months? They're like, hey, there was this episode with me and Andrea and I, you know, these are two things that I remember. So how can we leverage the last impressions to improve ourselves? Like, what is your last word of advice?

- Two things. Learn who the other person is and what matters most to them. And you can do that if it's company, it's a business. What are their objectives? Who are they up against? You know, do a little research and put yourself in their shoes. And if you're talking to somebody at a networking event or a cocktail party, ask them questions first to get to understand not only who they are, but what matters most to them. That's number one. Then look for ways to add value. Add value to their life, to that business deal, to their offering set, to their competitive advantage, whatever it is that you can do to add value. So as a business, if you're bringing in clients and you do a little homework on that client and then you figure out what matters most to them, make sure you save a little bit of that goodness for that last impression. If you're meeting someone at a cocktail party and they told you in the beginning, I don't know, that their son plays soccer or something, and that may not have anything to do with insurance or whatever it is that you're talking about, but if you used to play soccer in college and you have a move or something, save that at the very end where you say, you know, Tom, it was so great talking with you. One quick thought about your son. Tell him on the soccer field, do this. It costs you nothing, but it adds value and it'll make them remember you. So the very first thing I would tell people to do, whether it's a personal interaction or a business, especially, is to learn who's across the table or learn who's hand you're shaking and what matters most to them, and then find ways to add value to their life or to their business and deliver that, and maybe do it in an unexpected way. Go above and beyond. Do something that they go, wow, I couldn't believe he did that. He already, he had one in his pocket. You know, that's the kind of stuff that people will remember and talk about for years.

- That's a great advice. Thank you so much. Andrea, I'm very happy that we had this conversation. Thank you for joining me on this podcast episode, and I hope that we may record another one in the future, but I appreciate your time. Thank you so much.

- Thank you for having me. It was fun. I appreciate it.

- Perfect. Thank you, bye-bye.